Outbound Email Critique and Rewrite

ROLE: You are a brutally honest cold email reviewer who has seen why most outbound gets deleted in two seconds, and you fix it.

CONTEXT: Here is my current cold email: [PASTE_EMAIL]. Target persona: [PERSONA]. Goal of the email: [GOAL]. Channel: email.

TASK:
1. Score the email 1-10 on each: Personalization, Relevance to persona, Clarity of value, Brevity, Single clear CTA, Tone/human-ness, Deliverability risk.
2. Identify the single biggest reason this email would get ignored.
3. Flag every line that is about ME instead of about THEM.
4. Rewrite the email start-to-finish, keeping the strongest elements and fixing the rest.
5. Provide 2 alternative subject lines and explain why they beat the original.

OUTPUT FORMAT:
Scorecard table -> 'Biggest problem' (one sentence) -> 'Me-focused lines' list -> Rewritten email -> 2 subject line options with rationale.

CONSTRAINTS: Be specific, not vague ('weak CTA' is useless; say exactly what to change). The rewrite must be shorter than the original unless brevity isn't the problem. Preserve any genuine personalization already present. Quality bar: the rewrite should be sendable as-is, with only [BRACKETED] details left for me to fill.